Swimming With A Fucking Dolphin

I found the stress of the week had built up inside of me and I did something that I rarely do. I don't really know what it was that forced my decision to do it, but I thought fuck it and took the plunge. I found a dolphin and I swam with it. That's right. It was fucking exhilarating in all it's glory and I can highly recommend it once in a while. In fact I took a picture, feast your lying eyes on the beauty below.

OK, so it wasn't a real dolphin, but afterwards I felt that something had shifted inside of me and it wasn't the vegetable Jalfrazi from the night before. Whilst I lay there, basking in the bubbles and with my little blue friend floating around looking content I began to ponder some of life's' many mysteries and wondered if we would ever really understand this social experiment that we call society.

I pondered so fucking hard that my retinas felt like they had been detached from my eyeballs, and after I had pondered, I pondered some more. I hit the jacuzzi function in the tub and lay there thinking how we reached this point in time. A time when people are willing to accept just about any fucking thing that their lying ass government says to them. It really perplexed me, on a grandiose fucking scale.

I thought, how is it that we even still have a government, how is it that when all is said and done and we know that we have been lied to and duped, that we still turn to this corrupted asinine group of pricks and allow them any kind of influence in our lives. How the fuck is that??

I dug deep for my answers, in fact I dug so deep that it spoke to me with a fucking Australian accent and this is what it told me:

"G'day, ya bunch of fuckin' idiots. There is no system that can help you if you cannot help your goddamned self. If you choose to put up with the fucking bullshit which happens every single day, then you're your own worst enemy. Take a fucking stand, stop being a pro-crastinating mekoid and say something, have a fucking voice, don't hold back and most importantly, don't take any shit from anyone, ever, especially from your fucking government."

I was shocked yet inexplicably pleasured by what my inner psyche was telling me. After translating the brutish Aussie accent into soft delicate tones that my brain could coherently understand it told me to dedicate more time to speaking my mind, forget giving a fuck about who thinks what, write that which comes to mind but write that shit fast and write it double fucking hard. At least that was my interpretation of it.

So with this in mind, I managed to shuffle a few things around in my life to allow me ultimate penetration power on the intardnets. I am going to become a full-time part-time blogger. Yes, you heard it right. I like oxymorons.

I am seeing some very dubious activity recently hitting this shitty blog and this roughly translates to someone, somewhere being ear-pricked by some of the tripe that I have posted. I won't go into specifics, they know who they are, but I will end by saying that something inside of me has been lifted, no wait, it's been fucking released. I've come to the conclusion that I was afraid, only slightly so, but I was afraid. I'm not sure what it was that I was afraid of and it's a very peculiar feeling, but I have been holding back.

Take note of the past tense motherfuckers. Fear just got a back seat.